Articles

My NFL Dreams Continue

Why I want the million bucks- it’s not just another one of those, ordinary saga’s; this is my real true inspiration. My imagination inspires me once again.

Speaking of, “Collective Bargaining Agreements”, I have yet another proposal for the NFL, I was going to have to make aware to them eventually. Might as well explain the plan(s), and why I am after $1,000,000.00.

I have an idea, yes another one. This one is for my NFL Museums.

The concept I will use will revolutionize the museum industry, ‘back to being restored, back to an original root structure... read more

The Priority Team

There has been a lot of talk about which team will move to L.A.: & the Jaguars & Chargers are amongst the top of the list of that conversation. At least before Shahid Khan had acquired the Jacksonville Jaguars, and has decided to wait it out for 3 years, starting with last year.

My proposal for the team, and any other NFL Team, is I will look for investors with the NFL being the main proprietary owner, along with myself, will build a team up (hopefully the worst one) & will sell it after we make it better. I am going to only ask for a commission of the sale, and to be paid a salary for my services... read more

With the announcement of Robinson Cano firing Scott Boras and hiring Jay-Z as his agent, there was a lot to be said about this intriguing union. Here are @NotBillWalton's top 10 tweets on the matter. Enjoy!

#10

Robinson Cano hiring Jay-Z in perfect. When Cano's desire is questioned at contract time, Jay-Z will make sure they Can't Knock The Hustle.

....good thing, because Robinson Cano got more at stake than Philly

#9

Despite taking on Robinson Cano as a client, Jay-Z will still only have 99 problems... read more

Follow @ProFootballMock and read even more funny stuff at http://profootballmock.com/

Hey folks, it's that time of year again.  Celebrate March Madness @NotBillWalton style by joining my 2013 NCAA Tournament Challenge.  You can fill out your brackets here:

es.pn/XXwICk 

And as a gesture to give me back to my noble followers for your continued support, I will be paying out some prizes to the top performers in my group.  Here is the breakdown:

*NOTE: 1st and 2nd Place winners are based on ESPN.com's point system and tiebreaker rules.  This is the same point system used to determine which raffle qualifiers finish above my final score... read more

The National Football League Retirement Home & Evolution Center

This is my idea for all any football players to be able to come seek treatment or even come & live.

The NFL Retirement Home/Center will have single quarter living, and will also have a complete ability to house NFL Families. Like say if Emmitt Smith wanted to move inside the community (players might have a better opportunity to get on board now, but also is supposed to be a community concept, not trying to make money off people, just what it will take to make this idea work), he could take with him his entire family... read more

Magic writes the most obvious tweets on the PLANET. So a few weeks ago I  decided to make the hash tag #MagicJohnsonTweets and have some fun with it. Here is one of the tweeets with the hash tag:

Now look at what Magic wrote TODAY:

Art imitates life imitates art? Or is Magic just trolling me?

and almost an hour later from the "official" PR account:

With the 2nd anniversary of the @NotBillWalton Twitter feed less than two weeks away, we will be sharing memories from the past two years with our noble and supportive followers that have stuck with the feed through thick and thin.

Today, we flashback to August 2011, the first time a celebrity blocked @NotBillWalton.  The culprit, none other than the very unoriginal Dane Cook.  After Steve Jobs stepped down as CEO of Apple, we tweeted a joke that instantly became a "top tweet" for various Apple related trending topics.  Typical to Cook's history, he put the joke on his feed after barely rewording it... read more

As we are just a few weeks away from the 2nd anniversary of the @NotBillWalton Twitter feed, we thought that we'd share memories from the past two years with our noble and supportive followers that have stuck with the feed through thick and thin.

Here was the first big tweet that gained notable retweet attention.  Not only was it tweeted at Jalen Rose, but Jalen Rose retweeted it.  This tweet was posted on the very first day of the feed, March 5, 2011.  It was a simple historical reference, which was a staple of early NBW, that many followers seemed to like.  It was after this tweet, we thought that we may have something very special... read more

Hey folks! Time for one of the biggest sporting events of the year! And with that comes one of the biggest drinking occassions of the year! And no fear, Uncle Walton will get you glass eyed in NO TIME.

It’s officially the midpoint of the 2012-2013 NBA season. This is a great opportunity to reflect on the highs and lows of the enthralling 1st half we’ve just witnessed. Who were the winners that threw it down? Who were the losers that let us down? We take a closer look:

BEST PLAYER

This was a tough decision, considering amazing performances from LeBron James and Kevin Durant, along with the MVP-caliber efforts of Carmelo Anthony and Chris Paul. But in the end, I have to go with the Black Mamba, Mr. Kobe Bean Bryant. The reasoning is simple; no player deals with more mistakes from teammates, coaches, and refs without making any mistakes of his own... read more

NFL QB's on Facebook: Championship Game Edition! (Brought to you by @ProFootballMock)

Since Deadspin.com broke the Manti Te'o girlfriend hoax story, the Twitterverse has exploded with perspective, opinions, and, of course, humor.  Never one to shy away from a big story, Twitter parody artist @NotBillWalton shared some of his best Manti Te'o's zingers with his 137,000+ followers.  Here are our top ten favorites:

#10 - Te'o's less than stellar BCS title game performance comes under scrutiny.....

#9 - This explains a lot.....

#8 - No one is immune in NBW's world.....

#7 - LOL... read more

It isn't fair to drag Reagan and Troy into this.. a lot of truths and myths need to be addressed here, and they will be at noon PST tomorrow

I will be releasing a statement, via twitter, between 11am and noon today.

My statement: This is incredibly embarrassing to talk about, but I have been told by Alabama's offense that Manti Te'o is not real.

A Bad Lip Reading of the NFL!

http://youtu.be/Zce-QT7MGSE

Read other hilarious convos and other good stuff from ProFootballMock 

Thanks to my noble followers, #LakersThemeSong was a huge success and trended in some cities.  The laughs were certainly plentiful.  Here are the top 15 entries you sent in:

livin on a prayer #LakersThemeSong

Dust In The Wind -Kansas #LakersThemeSong

#LakersThemeSong "sitting by the dock of the bay" 'cause they'll be fishing with #CharlesBarkley... read more

Steve Nash (10)

Tony Parker (9)

D-Will (8)

Melo (7)

LeBron (6)

Jason Kidd (5)

Luke Walton (4)

DWade (3)

John Wall (2)

DRose (1).....

RUSSELL WESTBROOK!! (0)

Twitter: @Profootballmock

Read more from them today!

   Troy Polamalu is getting more and more popular and recently a research showed that he is the most beloved player in NFL. Why he is so hot ? I guess there are several reasons.

   First of all , he play football very well .Troy Polamalu ,the strong safety for the Pittsburgh Steelers in NFL ,he was chosen by the Steelers in the first round of the 2003 NFL ,Since a quiet rookie season, he's been unstoppable for most of a decade and has been selected for the Pro Bowl seven times. He is the best safety in NFL i think .

   Secondly, he always behave very well ,no matter on the field or outside the stadium... read more

CBSSports is awesome for this article! Way to go @NFL_Memes & Facebook.com/MemesOfTheNFL!!

Make sure to follow ITSREAL85 on Youtube!

"Hard Working, Physical Education Teacher, Family Man & Die Heart New York Giants Fan"

Follow: @ProFootballmock

For more great articles and hilarious content!

A Buffalo Bills-related parody of PSY's Gangnam Style

A Buffalo Bills-related parody of PSY's Gangnam Style

A Buffalo Bills-related parody of PSY's Gangnam Style

FOLLOW: @ProFootballMock

SITE: http://www.profootballmock.com

We already know you have herpes, Kris. RT@krishumphries I can't wait for the truth to come out! People will be surprised or maybe they won't

Showing NBA players the herpes sores Kim shared with you isn't very funny, Kris. RT@krishumphries Team dinner in Denver. Straight comedy!

Sleep well, Kris. The herpes will still be there in the morning. RT @krishumphries Great team win tonight in OT! #sleeping12hrstonight

Who cares? You will still carry Kim's herpes forever... read more

Compiled below are 15 Moments in NBA History Recreated in MS Paint by Inside Hoops NBA Forum members. These great posters are not only hilarious, but extremely talented as well. Here is a link to the entire thread: 

http://www.insidehoops.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235294&page=89

Now please, scroll down and enjoy! #ThrowItDown

The Black Mamba's Death Stare is now a Constipated Stare, flushing down the toilet the career of Mike Brown. 

I absolutely love how the artist scribbled back and forth to emulate the killer cross over... read more

 Credit: @ProFootballMock 

www.profootballmock.com, and link back to our site.

FOLLOW: @ProFootballMock on Twitter now! Hilarious stuff!!

• State Requirements for Voter ID
• 2012 Legislative Action
• 2011 Legislative Action
• Legislative Action, 2003-2010
• Recent Litigation 
• Details of Voter ID Requirements
• For More Information 

Adrian Peterson had a scorching 74 Yard TD run against the Seahawks!

Christian Ponder threw a scorching 63 yards the WHOLE GAME!

Arthur Blank owns the Atlanta Falcons and Home Depot, unfortunately business slows down after Christmas for both his million dollar investments.

"BRO, I SAID YOUR MOTHER F***ING MICROPHONE IS ON, GOD DAMMIT!"

Mike Wallace, Runs a Touchdown in 60 Seconds... read more

As the sun sets in the valley of the crescent moon, my dear friends, it is time. Time to partake on the single greatest, most legendary journey ever known to man. The surreal warrior like quest for the Larry O'Brien NBA Championship Trophy, a prize earned only by playing the greatest known sport of all time. Did I say warrior like? I apologize, for the men who partake in this battle should not be compared to mere warriors, for they are Gods that walk among the Clouds.

No helmets, no cleats, no sissfied weakling kickers deciding important games with their tippy toes... read more

As the sun sets in the valley of the crescent moon, my dear friends, it is time. Time to partake on the single greatest, most legendary journey ever known to man. The surreal warrior like quest for the Larry O'Brien NBA Championship Trophy, a prize earned only by playing the greatest known sport of all time. Did I say warrior like? I apologize, for the men who partake in this battle should not be compared to mere warriors, for they are Gods that walk among the Clouds. No helmets, no cleats, no sissfied weakling kickers deciding important games with their tippy toes. No touchceptions. No sabermetrics or oversized batty men swinging at balls while the rest of their team sits drinking wine coolers in a shaded mystical cabana known as a dug out... read more

I am also pleased to be the very first parody account on Twitter to have posted the absolute hilarity from ProFootballMock. Accept no imitations!

Twas the night before the NBA season, from East Coast to West, not a creature was stirring, not even Ron Artest.  The nets were hung on the rims with care, in hopes that tip-off soon would be there.

The Odoms were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.  And Rondo in his ‘kerchief, and Pierce in his cap, KG closed his wingspan for a long pregame nap.When out on the court, LeBron brought a clatter, the MVP sprung through the air, defying space and matter. And thoughts of D-Wade transforming into the Flash, hoping that Chris Bosh drops the lipstick and sash... read more

What if Rocky Balboa's two most heinous foes actually squared off against each other? Who would come out victorious; James "Clubber" Lang or Ivan Drago AKA Death From Above. 

Here's a tale of the tape:

Name: James "Clubber" LangFrom: Chicago, IL, USAHeight: 6 ft 1 inWeight: 210 lbsStance: SouthpawMost Heinous Act: Killed Mickey Goldmill

VERSUS

Name: Ivan DragoFrom: Siberia, USSRHeight: 6 ft 5 1/2 inWeight: 251 lbsStance: OrthodoxMost Heinous Act: Killed Apollo Creed

FIGHT BREAKDOWN:

Clubber Lang's Strengths:

-Intense Southpaw slugger driven by excessive levels of rage... read more

http://politics.blogs.foxnews.com/2012/10/19/obama-invents-fake-disease-describe-romney-policies

Skip Bayless: My Year of Tebow - ESPN

• USA
• DEPORTES
• • More
  • Asia
  • Australia
  • Brazil
  • United Kingdom

• BOSTON
• CHICAGO
• DALLAS
• LOS ANGELES
• NEW YORK

CREDIT: ProFootballMock.com

CREDIT: ProFootballMock.com

Not to mention RGIII is a division rival with Michael Vick

(Updated)

In conjunction with MEMES.of.the.NFL here is the Weekly Memes of the NFL Caption Contest! The stakes have been raised. We are giving prizes away!

Top 2 memes picked will each win a $25 Amazon gift card! One with the most likes from all of you will win, and the other one will be who we think is the funniest... read more

Worried about how your favorite team is going to stop the opposing QB on Sunday? Here's a foolproof guide to shutting down 25 NFL QBs:

Matthew Stafford: Take away Megatron

Eli Manning: Take away his coloring book and crayons

Michael Vick: Touch him

Aaron Rodgers: Steal his TD celebration dance to hawk insurance

Joe Flacco: Have him throw a pass to Lee Evans

Alex Smith: Have him throw a pass deeper than 10 yards

Mark Sanchez: Have him throw a pass

Tim Tebow: Have him play QB

Cam Newton: Stop paying him

Drew Brees: Remove his magical facial mole with a laser

Tom Brady: Put the defense in Giants jerseys

Matt Cassel: Keep him away from a Pats jersey

Jay Cutler: Put a defense in front of him

Tony Romo: Move the game to December

Matt Ryan: Move the game to January

Peyton Manning: Move the game to February

Ryan Tannehill: Ask him to name every team in the NFL

Russell Wilson: Put him behind an offensive line to block his view

Brandon Weeden: Steal is AARP card

Andrew Luck: Nominate him for the Heisman Trophy

Ben Roethlisberger: Put him on a motorcycle

Philip Rivers: Put duct tape over his mouth

Ryan Fitzpatrick: Remind him that he plays for the Bills

Andy Dalton: Remind him that he’s a soulless ginger

Carson Palmer: Remind him that he’s Carson Palmer

In conjunction with MEMES of the NFL I give you:

Week 2 of the 2012 NFL season is upon us! Here are 7 gridiron battles you shouldn't miss:

Chiefs-Bills:

Watching the Bills play = Comedy. Watching the Bills play at home while their fans look miserable knowing that they have to suffer through yet another atrocious season = Epic Comedy. Edge: Chiefs by default

Jets-Steelers:

When Ben Roethlisberger forces a girl to do something against her will, he is chastised by millions. When Tim Tebow does the same, it’s called the Immaculate Conception and millions celebrate it... read more

Kevin Durant is refusing to play Skip's game. But by merely acknowledging him, has he already lost?

My fave player, KDurant, again falls into LeBron's trap, working out & buddying up w/ him. No, KD! Destroyed u in Finals b/c didn't fear u.

I got better today! That's all that matters!! Move em

Good morning folks! Now is the time for my riveting edition of Monday Morning QB! Are you ready? Here we go!

The New NFL movie "Interception" comes out tonight starring some legendary quarterbacks like Tony Romo, Carson Palmer and Tim Tebow. I caught up with them to get their take on the film:

Tony Romo: "While I've been known for falling victim to LeBronification in the 4th quarter, let's face it, LeBron won a ring. so now its Romofication. Its all on me, which is pretty exciting.  So any time I toss an interception into the willing hands of a thirsty DB, in the 4th quarter, I know Im this much closer to taking my talents to South Beach and buying a ring from the refs... read more

Baltimore Ravens:

If you would have told me that Joe Flacco would make one of the most controversial comments of the offseason on a team that includes loquacious loudmouth's Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs, I would have assumed you were in a heightened state of sheer lunacy usually reserved for mindless zombies high on bath salts or drunk rambling mad men like Mel Gibson. But alas, Joe Flacco had the audacity to proclaim himself the NFL's top QB, indirectly snubbing the accomplishments of Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees, and Tom Brady.

In Flacco's defense, Autistic Wonderchild Eli Manning made similar comments last season and all he did was elevate his game enough to where he led his team to a Superbowl Victory... read more

Due to past behavioral incidents by their young receiver, the Dallas Cowboys have mandated a set of strict #NFLRules for Dez Bryant to follow this season. Here's how Jerry Jones and his staff threw it down:

It's that time again! Drop your wittiest, zaniest, most hilarious caption for this epic moment in time...

Put your captions in the comment section below. As always, I'll choose the captions that give me the grandest, heartiest chuckle. If your caption gets 100 RTs, I'll throw $50 your way via Paypal. Have fun and, most importantly, THROW IT DOWN!!!!

Notice Ken Berger and Chris Broussard have exactly the same tweet. Is Bill Eichenberge paying for the follow or is Chris Broussard doing what he usually does? Or are Ken Berger and Chris Broussard really the same person, a sort of Chriken Bergssard hybrid? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Newly retired NFL quarterback Michael Vick will be paired with Lassie for 'Breaking Vick', a story about a former football player who partners with a highly intelligent collie to start a BBQ Rib joint that also doubles as a Meth lab.

"With Breaking Bad" getting ready to end pretty soon, we figured we could capitalize on its popularity by outright stealing the concept and hiring new actors", said an unscrupulous tv executive. "We decided to center the show around Michael Vick since he obviously is too soft to play football. We figured he would be soft enough to be an actor, ya know?"

Sources say Chad Johnson was originally picked for the lead role but was replaced because he wouldn't stop headbutting the cameras... read more

dont delete

test

It appears that it’s come time for Michael Beasley, who recently signed a three-year contract with the Suns, to move out of his Minnesota mansion.  Oddly, he won’t be packing up a U-Haul and taking his belongings to Phoenix; he’s elected to have an estate sale instead.  Apparently, he plans to stock his new residence with “all new stuff,” which is something I suppose a man can afford to do with a brand new deal worth $18 million.

- http://nba247365.com/?p=7419

Video from: http://lakeminnetonka.patch.com/articles/video-inside-former-timberwolves-star-michael-beasley-s-estate-sale#video-11061854

A major gripe from US citizens politcally swinging left have with US citizens politically swinging right is that the latter tends to be close-minded on many issues, specifically related to civil liberties, personal freedoms, and even science. Although this may be using an extremely broad brush to paint a picture, and the open-mindedness vs. close-mindedness debate can be one that is very intangible, we can still look at very granular data to gain a better understanding as to why these perceptions exist.

The following chart shows each state broken down by recent voting patterns on a national level (blue states, leaning blue, swing states, leaning red, and red states)... read more